If you’re a person, and live somewhere on Earth, I can safely assume you’ve heard of Pokémon Go. It has 75 million players, more daily users than Twitter, and it’s coaxed a generation raised on video games out of their bedrooms to stomp around outdoors (albeit playing a video game) for fun.
But not everyone chooses to recognise Pokémon Go’s unquestionable social benefits. The internet’s teeming with people who “couldn’t care less” about Pokémon Go, but incidentally, those same people do care enough to use time and effort publicly declaring how little they care about it…
I can’t be the only one who couldn’t care less about Pokemon go
— Sully Zagerman (@SullyZagerman) 18 July 2016
Pokemon go is for losers
— Kidney (@CashMegan10) 20 July 2016
This Pokemon go shit is pathetic
— Ryan LaTourette (@ryan_latourette) 18 July 2016
Now I’m not criticising people who’ve genuinely no interest in Pokémon Go (and I don’t know why I bothered saying that, as they obviously won’t be reading – if they did, they’d only prove my point). My beef’s with the self-righteous ones, scoffing and passing judgment instead of just letting other people enjoy it. I could liken them to militant vegans, but I won’t (or maybe I just did). I’ve digressed.
What I feel for those haters, who insist Pokémon Go’s a pile of shit despite never trying it, is pity. I refuse to meet their hatred with more hate, so instead what I’ll say is I feel sorry for them.
You see, they’ve already made their minds up about everything. They’re “too adult” for Pokémon, so won’t be embracing it, nor anything else they don’t immediately understand, but continue to mock anyone who does – out of bitterness – while dismissing it as a new-fangled fad that won’t last. It’s what some older people in the 1990s would’ve said about mobile phones and the internet.
These are the old people who out of stubbornness have still yet to receive an email, or use Facebook to trace distant relatives. Now almost entirely disconnected from the modern world, they’re fumbling in the dark of a self-prescribed bunker of ignorance – alone but for a few likeminded luddites.
I’m not sadistic enough to wish anyone that fate, so I pity them. I’m at level 20 by the way.